I was carrying a large couch down a path in the woods, for some place to sit and watch a rare moon related event. Then I heard CB radio chatter and there were flashing lights behind me. There was an even larger abandoned couch to my right so I sat on its arm, still holding my couch, hoping there were no bedbugs on the abandoned couch, as what turned out to be a bulldozer drove by. I made it to the park to watch the moon but it was daytime already so I was at a loss as to why I was even there, and began looking for a shady spot to sleep in.


I ran into my old old friend Chuck who I haven't seen since the 80s. and we went in a van to southern California to visit his friend who lived there. It was a looong dream . I can't remember all of it. In the morning we were making fun of shows on the TV. There was some show that was supposed to be Charlies Angels but they didn't look like them except for Bosley. Chuck was saying it was a new Charlies Angels and it would be funny if they used computer animation to make them look like the old ones and I suggested they do plastic surgery. Then there was a gem encrusted moose on TV and I was saying look that was supposed to be Farrah Fawcet Majors but they fucked up. and then I went for a walk outside. I had on a red hat and a hummingbird was buzzing my head! I was wondering if I was near anyone I knew from so cal but as I slept most of the way there I had no idea what town I was in or anything. Some guy offered me a hit from a joint but I turned it down cause I am not smoking these days.

I found a white house that was kind of out-of-the-way from everything where there was somewhat of a party going on and decided to hang out. I noticed a map on the wall and I was like oh cool a map I wonder where in so cal I am but it was a map of the world. Then somebody pointed out another map of the area. They had this weird concept of how to find where you are on the map using three pens and a piece of plastic with a lot of holes in it. Turned out we were at the edge of a tiny green area in the lower right corner but that didn't tell me anything really cause nothing on the map was marked. Some people there actually got me to smoke pot and some guy was saying whenever he smoked it he would 'see patterns' but I didn't think it was that good it was just ok weed maybe a little tastier than usual. They were cool people to hang out with anyway. I was thinking you know what? I could live here.

Then I realized it was getting late and people would be wondering where the fuck I was so I said my goodbyes and got going. Not far away, maybe it was only in the driveway was another friend of Chuck's that I had met the last night and he was going to walk back with me to Chuck's other friend's place. Then I dropped my bag and it came open and was all wet inside! There were water filled condoms and golf balls in there and I was like what the fuck did I DO last night? One of the condoms had broken open and that's why it was so wet in there. Looked like I might have lost something but there was no time and I could replace it.

I was wondering if they were worried or wondering where I went when I was gone but as it turned out they had left already and I was going to meet them at the next place. the brown haired guy was like Chuck said it's "par for the baby's dog" that I was not there when it was time to go, which would have been fucked up if anyone else said it, but if Chuck did it's all right. He also mentioned that he kept forgetting Chuck wasn't American but he was really from Nemo. Nemo? Where it that? I wondered. Is it an island in the Mediterranean Sea? and he didn't know. Then he did this trick with an apple where it magnetically drew to his finger and stuck to the claw on the end of it and then he did this weird wiggly non human motion and sailed the apple playfully thru the air in a wave motion. I started to realize Nemo was probably not on this Earth and these people I was with were not from here either.


I actually had a FUNNY dream just now! That's almost better than a SEX dream damnit! Especially when there are authentic OLD TV SHOW SOUNDS ...that was a nice touch. Read on...
Me and 3 other people were all done up like superheroes and I was supposed to take them somewhere in a time machine. There was this one guy with a big ol' beard and a metal helmet. He didn't like me so he slammed the big iron door shut just before I walked in. I knew it wouldn't go anywhere with out me inside though. So I waited a mere couple seconds. After it made a real *tardis from dr who* sound the door slid back open, and helmet head comes sulking out of the time machine in a huff as I get in. I said to the other two (a long blonde haired kinda nerdy lookin' but still beautiful woman and I forget the other guy. Maybe he had red hair and was dressed mostly in bright green?) that I knew this thing wouldn't get anywhere without me in it, so let's go since we don't need HIM anyway, and we were off. Then when we alit in the new time to the tune of a real *old star trek transporter sound* the door slid open and we had appeared - in the closet - of a real dweeby looking guy's basement room! He had like 200 yellow and brown and tan ties all hanging over a pipe and there he was in a bright yellow button-down shirt and light blue boxer shorts lookin' all yokelly at us real live superheroes/aliens/whatever. He had a big curly black poof of hair and he was all amazed that we had appeared and he had a big goofy smile as he approached us with his hands up forward in disbelief as if to maybe pass through the hallucination we might be. I was BUSTIN UP laughing - I just couldn't stop laughing shrilly - to the point where I was almost falling down and then I kind of fell into him but I grabbed him by the arm before he toppled over. Then I woke up.

For some reason, I drove to New Jersey. It must have been South Jersey cause there were those scrubby pine trees like they have in the Pine Barrens around. I wound up in a kind of rednecky town at a slightly dingy strip-mall where there was a bar/tattoo place and decided to go in for a few drinks. After a little bit, it occurred to me I should get my head shaved and have a red, 3-eyed snake tattooed on my scalp! The scruffy skinny guy in a grey baseball cap shaved my hair off with a big dagger and right before he started tattooing I realized it was a pretty intense leap to make to get my head shaved AND tattooed ON THE SAME DAY so I told him forget the tattoo maybe I'll come back another day for it. He wasn't going to charge me anything but I felt like I should give him something so I handed him $5.00. When he was walking away I noticed that I had really given the guy a $1 bill so I stopped him and handed him a 5. When I went out, a rusty green pickup truck slammed into a much larger, better-taken-care of red pickup truck which had one of those 'dream catchers' hanging from the rear view mirror. It was a really big one with lots of black-and-white eagle feathers all over it almost like an Indian chief's headdress. When I got to my car, there was not much more left of it than a rusty frame and two wheels! A heavyset black woman with a couple of kids saw me looking at the wreckage and said to me one of the wheels was over there on the other side of the parking lot. I was bummed. The remains of the car were so light I was able to lift the frame up with one hand and look at the underside of some part which I thought had been making a weird noise when I was driving. Then I realized I was in a dream and thought Wow this is a really weird dream! I should get a pen and some paper and write it down! So I went to the Rite-Aid that was on the other end of the strip mall from the tattoo bar to get some and realized I had been in there twice before. In between the first time and the second time, they had removed the whole pharmacy which had been in back of the register from the building and instead there was a plate glass window so that you could see the woods which were behind the stores. When I got back out to my car, I was happy to find that it was all back in one piece again so I drove away.

I needed to get brake shoes for my car, but for some reason my car was completely disabled and I coudn't use it to get to the store. Two little old ladies were kind enough to offer me a ride to South Philly where there was an auto parts store. It seemed to take a really long time to get there. One was driving and the other was sitting in the back seat with me. They were both in their 80s or at least late 70s. Finally we arrived and I realized that this was a one-way trip; they were not going to drive me home. I began to get out of the car when the lady who was sitting with me gasped and jerked around like she was going to fall over, so I moved back so that she could lean on me, but then she said 'those...CHARACTERS!' and I noticed 3 guys with sharpened baseball bats were opening the hatchback of their car. The old lady was whimpering and I figured better to face then and die like a man than die like an old lady so I stepped out of the car. Plus, They didn't look so tough anyway. They were 3 white guys, ike 35-40 age range, and looked not quite as well-to-do as yuppies. Still they had the sharp bats though... As soon as I stepped to them I popped awake

Me and TJ moved into a house that had a lot of wood paneling like a doctor's office. It was really hot and the AC was broken. The air conditioner was located out by the mailbox though. I went and tinkered with it for a while and found that the only things wrong were that 2 tiny tubes needed to be connected and the big basin that was like a giant water pic basin needed to be filled with dry ice. It just so happened that I had 4 or 5 blocks of the stuff left over from somethng else, so this was no problem. Then I went in and closed the windows. There was a little bit of mouse turd on one of the window sills. The young landlady was happy to have the AC working again.

I was dozing in late afternoon, treating myself to a "15 minute power nap", hands palms-up over/behind my head, dangling off the edge of the bed. After a bit of vague dreaming, I noticed a soft, small finger was touching mine and I gently closed my thumb and forefinger around it. She placed another finger form from her other hand so I could clasp it too, but just before I touched, the first finger became hard like bone. and when I touched the other finger anyway I got a rather uncomfortable electric JOLT and then the weird part: I COULDN'T WAKE UP!! Also I coudn't let go and all the while was getting constantly zinged! After a time I was able to force myself awake by flailing my dream head back and forth. I'm not so sure if that was a dream. When I woke up I thought it was kind of funny. If I were a ghost I would probably prank people like that too.

An old friend (Jay) who I had a falling out with years ago and I were going to stay in a house in a forest for a week with 2 other people. One of the others was Kim, who I knew very briefly when I was 14 and haven't seen since, and in the dream I had introduced Jay to her. They quickly hit it off and Jay kept making mean remarks to me every chance he got throughout the dream about how he "had" a girl, unlike me, and all I had brought was a stack of old records I used to like when I was teen aged but am really sick of now. Jay was making fun of the records I had and I was feeling so discouraged and depressed that I couldn't think of any responses and I hated all the records anyway although the things Jay was saying didn't have anything to do with the real reasons they sucked. For instance, he was saying Led Zeppelin were a bunch of transvestites (which is kind of funny actually since Jay was into MOTLEY CRUE when I knew him). The house was a simple yet roomy two-story with rough unsanded wooden floors. The walls were all painted a mellow off-white color. Jay and Kim were going to stay in one room and I was staying in another. My parents were not divorced in this dream and they were staying downstairs. That night a whole lot of people I never see any more from various times in my life showed up for a party but I didn't get a chance to talk to anyone since I was looking for something. I was really uncomfortable and didn't want to talk to anyone anyway. I was wearing a blue T-shirt with tiny white stars and polka dots on it which I liked when I first put it on but now I didn't feel like it ws "me" and wished I had brought my black hooded sweatshirt which I was in the mood to be wearing. After the party I spent the night pacing around the room in a very bad mood and looking through the records for something to listen to but none of them appealed to me at all. I started yelling "I want you all DEAD" over and over again until someone yelled at me in a growly voice from somewhere inside the house. I looked around in the house to see who yelled. Jay and Kim were soundly sleeping and I saw my reflection in their mirror. I was wearing the hoody sweatshirt that I was wanting to in the dream and I was postured in a movie creepy way lall hunched over like some kind of Igor like mad scientist's assistant character. I thought maybe it was my father downstairs who had growled. I looked at a digital clock which said it was 5:48 and the sun was starting to rise. I decided that since I was going to be up all night anyway I might as well take the long drive back home to get more clothes since I had only brought what I had on already and I was supposed to be there for a week. I went downstairs and two nerdy looking young boys were down there talking about skyscrapers. I joined the conversation and mentioned that if you wanted to get into the Guiness Book of World Records for the building with the most stories you could build a building with 36 million stories with each story being only inch high. Then I realized that this would take so much planning and work that probably your best bet would be to use a computer to design it and then maybe use a machine to mass-produce 36 million identical stories. Cut to image of panning down a long skyscraper.

The first part of the dream is hazy. I was going to work in an apple or pear orchard near Doyelstown PA, and I was having trouble finding the meeting place for where we were starting work. An Asian guy named Jeff who I worked a temp assignment with last weekend was there and he knew where to go but I lost track of where he went and soon I was very thirsty and I had forgotten to bring along a jug of water for the day. The orchard was up a steep hill from the town and to get there I had to pass through a woodsy neighborhood which seemed familiar even though I had never been there before. After a while of futile searching for the work crew, I returned to this woodsy part of town, where I had other business.
Threre was some kind of a performance being put on by some friends of friends, who I didn't personally know. I comfortably sprawled across both seats of a 2-seater wooden chair. A man on the stage goes into a monologue about how he is from the Pentagon and that everyone should be respectful and sit upright in their chairs. I remained sprawled in mock "rebellion" since I was comfortable and there was no reason to take this man who was saying he was from the Pentagon seriously especially since it was only a performance anyway. He went on to state how no one listens to him since he is teaching us this in high school and on the internet. I notice a somewhat attractive young woman, college age, with brown hair, starting to sit on the arm of my chair because there is nowhere else to sit. I give up my "rebellious" sprawled stance to allow her to sit. No words are exchanged. Eventually the performance ends, and some 40-ish people are passing around some marijuana in a high-tech smoking implement which has an electric igniter which lights a small gas jet which lights the weed. It is large and kind of cumbersome looking.I am thinking that if I were wasted on something heavy like acid or robo or even a lot of alcohol and somebody handed me that thing I would be like "what the fuck is this?" and this thought made me crack a smile. Someone does pass it to me and I hand it to the next guy without hitting it since I am not smoking these days. A few people shoot me dirty looks like they think I'm being holier-than-thou or whatever. Most don't mind me not smoking though. I am the youngest one here, everyone else being about 10 years older than I.
The electric igniter in the pipe is failing and soon this one guy with longish hair is picking up one of those space heaters which shoot a LARGE jet of burning gas out to heat the room in order to light the pipe with the igniter in IT! I tell him to be careful since he is burning his side with the large flamejet which has already ignited and is starting to light his shirt on fire. He tells me he not to worry; he does this all the time; you just have to shut the heater off when the bowl lights, he says. There seems to be some kind of electrical trouble in the building. Soon the extension cord which the space heater is plugged into bursts with a loud popping sound, slightly wounding my foot. The insulating rubber on the cord is charred and blackened and crumbly, and all the electricity in the house is dead. It is still daytime, so visibility is still good. I notice 3 lighters on the mantle and take one, telling the guy who was burning his side that even a dead lighter is probably enough to light the little gas jet on the high-tech bowl, and when I flick it, it actually lights, so I hand it to him. He eyes me suspiciously for a moment and then shrugs and lights the pipe. There is some commotion somewhere in the house as people are trying to get the electricity on again. I look around and the whole house looks a mess, all smoke and water damaged as if there had been a fire and firemen had been through to put it out. I decide to leave.
I get to my vehicle, which is a blue pickup truck in this dream, and find that I have (or someone else has?) left the door wide open. I feel really stoned even though I didn't smoke anything. I shut one door and notice the other one is open, and then when I shut the other one the first one is open, and this goes on; at one point I somehow accidentally got in the back cargo area of the truck while shutting doors. At long last I managed to get both doors and the tailgate all shut at the same time and took a minute to collect my thoughts for the drive ahead. At the bottom of the hill a thin Vietnamese man with his family (wife and kid[son?]) were in a semi rig bobtailling (with no trailer in tow) and, looking right at me, he pulled out right in front of me! He scared his wife, who I could see but not hear yelling at him while he smirked at me and watched me almost get killed stopping and violently hit wheels against the curb.Then he slowly started moving again and turned down the road. I couldn't believe the nerve of that prick! The driver behind him, also Vietnamese, also bobtailed, also with the same company logo on the cab, but with no wife and kid along for the ride, waved for me to pass. A little while later I noticed the first truck driver with his family carrying large empty boxes to a supermarket sized fruit stand crowded with many other Vietnamese. I stopped to give him some shit for being such an asshole driver but my voice was all hoarse and squeaky and I was stuttering and couldn't get many words out. He just smirked at me again and many other peole there started laughing at me and mimicking my pathetic stuttering. After a little of this I gave up and got back in the truck and drove away. A bit later, I made a wrong turn into a driveway. There was an open gate with a sign that said "Warning, Keep Out, Condemned, Haunted" and I remembered an article I had read in the paper about a prison that had been shut down by the government after a series of strange, perhaps supernatural, events. 3 planes had crashed into the prison grounds in a six-month period. I had thought that the "haunted" part was just a ploy to scare away kids and other curiosity seekers, but I was not feeling adventurous, and I was in a slight hurry, so I backed up and got back on the street. The prison grounds were still visible from the street though, and there were many twisted half-melted wrecks of vans, cars, airplanes like from a post nuclear war scene except that the wrecks were all brightly painted and shiny and all in red and yellow and bright green or blue which lent a slightly circusy feel to the nuclear meltdown scene. They seemed dangerous though in the way a wasp is, brighly colored to warn of the danger. The cellblocks were all charred and crumbled and burnt looking, not gaily colored, and I could see the remains of some kind of torture machine I had read about in that newspaper article. It had detailed some of the heinous crimes which had landed some of the prisoners in there and also some of the even more hideous tortures the guards had inflicted on the inmates. This was part of the reason for the shutdown too. I was getting creeped out (although the exact nature of the tortures of the crimes did not rise into my consciousness in the dream) and then I noticed that right next door to the prison was the Doylestown Airport. This made the 3 plane crashes seems a lttle less mysterious, but still...3 planes crashes in less than a year?
Down another long steep hill, I stopped in a grayish town and picked up a paper that someone had left behind on a table in a park. There was a article about how plenty of food was being provided for kids orphaned by the war. I was worried about my own financial situation, and found myself looking forward to the end of the war so that there would be more food in the food banks here for when I would lose my job.
As I felt myself starting to wake up, the dream cut to a still shot of a flat slab of chicken meat. A disembodoed voice instructed me me to remember everything I could about this ad so that I could recall it when asked to later. There was an "ad number" in the corner of the shot in white over the name of the agency which produced the ad in an orange font.but I don't remember these except for their colors and that they were there. The chicken slice was pinkish and uncooked looking.

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