12/21/1 the winter solstice


well well well I decided to take tonight off! Last night out on the streets there was a very high asshole quotient (AQ) and I figured since it was only Thursday that tonight would only be even worse. Tomorrow I will put up with the onslaught of obnoxious Christmas traffic, with a generous helping of drunk drivers added into the mix, but I am in no mood for 2 nights of that kind of crap in a row.

Yes, I got back from the New York / Connecticut trip. New York was still New York, if slightly subdued. I made sure to visit New York's newest Tourist Trap, namely, Ground Zero! I looped around the south end of Manhatten Island to get there. Now I finally have some sort of mental map of that financial nexus. I actually know kind of where Wall Street is as well as Battery Park. I have never been down there too much. I approached the infamous site from the south. It still smelled like smoke, as the fire was still burning, but I detected no trace of the rotting flesh smell I had heard about and expected. Cops wouldn't let me or any other 'tourists' closer than 2 blocks from the scene. There were largish demolition machines digging around in the rubble, and that classic slab of WTC wall visible in a lot of the pictures is still there, jagged and blackened. I wonder if they are planning on leaving it there after the place turns into a memorial park. That would be cool! Someday there would be open air concerts with the jagged piece as a backdrop. The only thing better would be to rebuild the towers exactly as they were in exactly the same places; they would be haunted! Many visitors from around the globe were there with cameras and video equipment. I, of course, had not bothered to bring a camera. An enterprising trumpteer played slightly doleful, patriotic-flavored music with his trumpet case left open for money. The notes echoed down the narrow ways leading to the rather extensive line of vendors hawking NYPD and FDNY baseball hats, God Bless America t shirts, and all kinds of yummy Food! Now as I am a BIG fan of food, I wasted no time surveying the scene, and decided on an italian sausage sandwich, which was just scrumptious! I ate in on bike-back, leaning against a metal pole of scaffolding nearby.

That night, or the next morning, rather, around 2 am, I found myself entering RUBULAD. I didn't really feel like being in a party but what the hell, what else was I going to do under the circumstances? I went all the way into the back room where I was just in time to see the Hungry March Band! What luck! I had heard of them and wanted to see them, but never had seen them before. They were even better than I had imagined! 15 or 20 people playing lovely middle eastern sounding psychedelia on brass marching band instruments! Trombones. Trumpets. Those drums that you wear. Tubas for chissakes! Even a majorette complete with a baton was on hand! 2 or 3 of them were wearing marching band style coats. I heard that they usually march around wherever they play but it was too damn crowded in there for them to get far from the stage. I smiled and maybe even chuckled at the thought of them all done up in marching band uniforms! If I was a filthy rich wastrel I might buy them all uniforms as a goof. When they finished their set, I left. I hate crowds.

Connecticut was a family visiting kind of time. I have 2 sisters who still live there. I got to see my nephews and my neice! I hadn't seen any of them in literally years. It was all in all a good pleasant time. Nothing really terribly exciting happened though. I went on a few nice bike rides. I saw some movies on a VCR. Relaxing, not exciting. It was cool. Just before I left, I hastily gathered up a selection of what I thought were locally brewed beers from the area. Well, some of them turned out to really be from Saratoga Springs NY. 3 or 4 of the 6 six packs I snagged really were from CT, but the 2 from Saratoga Springs turned out to be two of my favorites! heh. funny that.

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4 out of 5 dentists agree. The 'pink and white page' is read more times per day than option3.
Did that make any sense? I haven't updated the pink and white page in forEVer! Just thought you might like to know I'm going away for a piece. Maybe more than one piece! I'm going to pieces here in philthi philli so I'm going to go piece myself together. Peace out man!

3/7/1 -- Day 30! The magic day of clean pee.
wow. Could it be true? If I peed in a cup there would be no cannabinoid metabolites lurking within the yellow murk? It kind of doesn't matter. I got VERY drunk last night so all I did today was laze around and call Verizon to check on the status of my DSL connection. Probably in about a week I'll be back 'up to speed' as it were, but I'm trying not to be too optomistic. It IS verizon, after all, and everyone seems to have something nasty to say about them. Still, I felt well-treated on the phone today, probably because I am too beat to be angry, abrasive, and downright bitchy like I usually am when I deal with their phone staff. They even hooked me up with 2 free months of service as an apology for fucking up before. And I found I could get free 56K dialup WITHOUT ADS while I wait, so for now anyway I have been successfully placated. It's actually kind of relaxing to stop hating Verizon for a while...

3...2...1... Day 25!
yay! My browser can do java applets again! After a couple of weeks of fiddle-fucking around with the 'advanced' settings in IE, REPEATEDLY using the 'internet explorer repair tool', resorting to Netscape (who claim somewhere on their site that they 'invented' Java and yet it still runs half-assed [Go figure ~ I always thought Sun Microsystems came up with Java, did they merge with Nutscrape while I was trapped in that parallel universe under a rock?]), and just plain old feeling like an idiot I finally noticed my 'security settings' for the 'internet zone' (ya gotta love these MS moronisms) were set to 'medium security'. So I tried 'low security' and Voila! suddenly I could see the beauty that is absurd.org yet again, and play the tibet game (which repeatedly crashed Netscape 6) for the very first time! Like a virrrirrrrrrirrrirrrgin! uh, oops. sorry bout that.

On another, very different note, I found this picture of Meenk yesterday:

It doesn't work! Does it work for you? No matter what I tried: yelling, whispering, clapping my hands, making a wish, singing, speaking right into the mic, right up against the damn PICTURE, tried it in Netscape, tried it in a boat, tried it with a goat, and her eyes WOULDN'T LIGHT UP!!! No, ma'am. No they wouldn't, Sam I Am. If any of you can get this to work, email me and let me in on the secret. It would be really cool to see them glowing orange or green or whatever. Probably you have to use her 'real' name (and you can bet your ass it's not 'meenk').
ps I already tried 'rumpelstiltskin' and that was no good either.

March First (day 24)
Yes. Less than a week until I can apply for a medical study, or a piss-testing job. Speaking of piss-testing jobs, I haven't had a phone for almost 2 days! My DSL works but there's no dial tone and whenever anyone calls they get a busy signal! Verizon never seems to get anything right the first time. Today the d00d they sent went to the WRONG ADDRESS and wrote in a report that there was NO TROUBLE WITH THE LINE which I found out when I called to see why I still didn't have a working phone after 5. I fully expected them to fuck up. They NEVER FAIL to do so, and not just with me. Pretty much everyone I have met who's had an experience with BellAtlantic/Verizon in the PAST YEAR AND A HALF has had at least some trouble. After all, It did take them almost 2 months to get my DSL line working and then they tried to bill me --for the time it wasn't even working yet!-- in the end. The fuckers! Well anyway I know they piss test and since I know I would be better at it than 99% of those 'straight' folx with grade A US approved pee I think I should mosey on down to their employment office and get me a 'real' job. It's got to pay better than driving a cab - especially in the summer!

February 24, 2001 (day 19)
Jacquie stopped the 'link dump' thing after only 2 days. Needless to say she did not review this site. ho hum. To her credit (about 3% or 4% worth anyway), she did post a link to absurd.org on her site after I told her about it. My computer somehow got retarded about java applets and won't run absurd.org right any more! Nor can it handle the daily crossword on aol or this game I heard is really cool. grrrrr. DRAT!

13 feb /1 (day 8 of NO WEED!)

hehehehehehehe! Hmmmm, why is that bnib giggling like a munchkin? Well I just did something kind of silly, that's why. Jacquie from electronic whore (pictured above) is having a 'link whore' game (is game the right word? I can't seem to think of anything more fitting offhand) on her site. If you put a link to her site on your entry page and send her an email about it, she'll come over and check it out and do a review of your site and link you in an update. So the link from her is kind of temporary, really, unless you count diehard readers who comb thru the archives, clicking away on links as they go. As you probably guessed, The silly thing I just did was to submit twilight headquarters for her perusal. Now I feel all exposed and naked before her! It's kind of a weird thrill. Funny I should feel that way since you came here and are reading this regardless. Anyway, she's already done her first 'link dump' today and as far as I can tell she's being kind of harsh in her reviews. So _IF_ she even posts a review of *here* on her site, it's probably going to be kind of nasty. Still it's actually kind of a turn-on. I don't quite get why though. Maybe it's cause she's so yummy looking...

six february twenty-oh-one, coffee break
Bleah. Last night was a night of Very Much Whiskey, in a lovely vehicle known as 'hot toddies'. They are basically a cup of tea with lemon and brown sugar -- except with whiskey added. Now I know this may sound like some pussy drink, but try drinking 11 or 12 of them (whiskey content: about 2 shots apiece on average) and you'll get a taste of how I feel, i.e. HUNG OVER, kind of like kitty (sinnocence) also does today. How do I know this? I read all about it on her site, silly! I have kind of taken a liking to her site. I'm not sure why. I'm not goth (I like garlic WAY too much for that)... and she's happily married as far as I can tell, so I'm not expecting to be able to work my bnibletty wiles on her anytime soon.

Seems the searches for 13-year-old nude girls are finally tapering off! Now the hot item is www.snuffx.com, which is all in all a pretty awesome collection of gory, violent movies with a generous sprinkling of porn and some cruel, evil attitudes disclosed in the text updates. The thing that confuses me is this: Why, if someone knows the URL, would they would stick it in a search engine instead of just GOING TO THE DAMN SITE?? I guess maybe once in a while it's daeryk checking to see who mentions his site but not 19 or 20 times a day for a couple of days! I mean come on people! But still -- thanks for coming to my site! (^-^) Glad you could make it! Hang your hat....kick off your shoes, and.... eiwww MAN! um on second thought maybe DON'T kick 'em off. Losta Love, BB

30 jan, 2001, teatime
Yes yes T time. I've been getting sick of repeat hits arising from the searches I posted earlier. I mean. how many different people are actually searching for 'pics of 13 year old nude girls' in one day??? At least 13 of the last 30 hits are searches for this exact concept worded in 3 different ways. I'd chalk it up to coincidence if it were varying pubescent ages like 12, 11, a couple of 14s, a 15 and some 13s but THIRTEEN 13s is a little tough to swallow. What's with 13 anyway? Is it the new 'purity' age like 'sweet 16 and never been kissed' referred to a little before my time but now that you can barely think 'sweet 13 and never been fucked' without smirking, all the 'verts are seeking out that magic number 13. Or maybe it's some kind of weird superstition thing. Don't ask me; I'm so out of the loop of human consciousness I'm probably schizophrenic by default. Though if this keeps up AFTER I take away the fun search results, then I'll REALLY be scared. Don't worry: I'll put them back up if I remember to.

Seven score and twelve years ago, my dog's boss's donut was driving down the parkway in Townville on the way to Street Road and Avenue Boulevard in the central upper outer area of Ciudad City. Here she discovered a convenience store called the Purple Lamb Chicken where you could buy an extra-medium coffee for $2.72. That's kind of a lot to pay for an extra medium coffee, but then again, where else can you get one that size? Slyvia's mind boggled as she watched the donut contemplating things. Slyvia always had to remind people that her name is not 'sylvia' it's Slyvia! She used to get made fun of all the way thru school including college and pre-med and medical school and all the way thru til she got her MD and even now that she has a medical practice she still gets made fun of by the other kids who call her 'Slyvia Saliva'.

There's this place called Coolfont in Broccoli Spriggs, Wet Vagina. Um -- Did I just say 'Broccoli Spriggs, Wet Vagina'? Sorry. I keep making that mistake. I meant to say 'Berkeley Springs, West Virginia'. But -- Anyway, at this resort / spa, one frequent guest was former VP Al Gore back in the day before he became Clinton's vice. After he arose to the heartbeat away from presidency phase of his career, he acquired an entourage of annoying secret service agents who would infiltrate the woods surrounding the place and piss off the other guests and the neighbors until finally, the owner of the place got fed up and told the local paper that Gore had gotten LOST IN THE WOODS and they PRINTED IT and poor Al was so embarassed that next year (and all years since) he has taken his train of attendants with wiggly wires hanging out of their ears elsewhere.

Hey! Check this site out! celebmatch.com! If you put in your birthday it picks a celebrity that's supposed to be matched to you using biorhythms. Guess who I got matched up with? Traci Fucking Lords! She flew here to meet me but we didn't go out on the town as planned. Instead, we had 2 solid weeks of what I must say was very nearly the best sex I ever had in my life. I showed her pictures of you and she says she wants you. Bad. She flew back to LA last week but she'll be back and she says she can arrange for us 3 to meet at the expense of a friend of hers. The only catch is we have to do several zero-g porn shoots on the international space station. I'm up for it! How bout you? Um, hey -- wait a minute -- who are you? hahaha um hehe sorry. I thought you were someone else.

1 - 8 - 2


12 - 22 - 1

justin timberlake and britney spears foot fetish fan fiction!

I love ridiculous things!

a blast from the past: eyes and noses

The very earliest incarnation of THQ was the eyes/noses continuum. Actually, it was the content in the main frame of eyes that came first. the eyes were added later. One fateful day, Wu Qui'You, from China, saw the eyes and felt like someone was watching her. She thought it was just terrible! It created such a psychic disturbance in her innermost soul that she was actually moved to tell me about it! On a later day, as I was smoking corned beef hashish out of a huge hookah shaped like a pink elephant (but not colored like one) and pondering this, it struck me, in all large, bold, caps:


Once my ears stopped ringing, I cut myself up a big fat line of 'pork' flavoring collected from various packages of ramen, hooted it up my nose, and proceeded to do just that. I don't change up the content much on the eyes or the noses any more but if you have never run across them you might like to see what you might have found if you were here 2 or 3 years ago.

A little eyeball?Pick me!

It has been suggested to me to make 'ears', 'penises', and 'mouths' pages, but I never got around to any of these projects.

10 - 3 - 1

I bought a crock-pot slow cooker today and I'm trying it out. I'm about to eat Midnight Pot Roast in just under an hour or so. It's been in there about 7 hours already! Not as time consuming as mead, but still quite a while. Planning ahead is actually mandatory in such a situation. I had to be home at a certan time. Of course, it's supposedly nearly impossible to burn moist food in this thing anyway. I added carrots, onions, salt, pepper, and basil about 2 hours ageo. It smelled really good for a while there when the meaty aroma was still wafting around the room. It's probably ready now! Here I go, to get a plate.

9 - 21 - 1


Filler deleted, 10/3/1 :P

8 - 11 - 1

Ack! My car is out of service (it needs inspection stickers ;)) and my computer pretty much died last week. I got me a new hard drive, maybe 4 times the size. Things are running better, but still my computer is misbehaving. On tuesday (in 3 days!) I am getting me a new motherboard, new CPU (AMD Athlon 900MHz) and some nice fast 133 ram to go with it. Not only might this solve the crappy old CPU problems, I will be able to use my 3com cam! and my DVD player! and I will finally get to play that Tomb Raider game I bought a year ago.

In the meantime, I have been going on some loooong bike rides. I rode to Trenton NJ and back last week (that's 31 miles each way) for one, and another time I did a big loop around NE Philly and Horsham before zipping back down 611 into town. One time I rode out to the airport over the Penrose Ave bridge. GOD DAMN does it ever stink up there. 200 feet above an oil refinery and a sewage plant on a hot Philly summer day is not where you want to be. I was planning on biking to Morristown NJ over a span of 2 days but now I think I will cheat and take 3 trains to get there. I will have a nice 3 or 4 mile ride at the end to get to where I'm going. I might just ride down to visit wooden thomas in a Teepee in Millington NJ. Either that or cheat again and bike/train my way there. It all depends on the weather and on how I feel.

I rode up to 5 points in NE philly to put the deposit down on the new computer insides on the hottest day of the heat wave which recently ended. It was a little over 100 but somehow I lived heh. When I actually go to pick the board up, I am taking a train since a 45 minute bike ride in the sun is probably not the best way to treat brand new, sensitive computer hardware. I really don't miss having a usable car at this point. Maybe I'll get around to finding out why this old car won't pass emissions, work on the weird electrical problem which makes the brake light on the dash stay on, fix the new power steering problem, and go find another Mitsubishi Cordia in a junkyard for body parts to repair the cosmestic damage to the front end (and it's a whole LOT of damage actually), eh, or I might just buy another car in the fall.

7 - 3 - 1

6 - 27 - 1

There were 2 tapestries on the wall. One said 'Almost Heaven West Virginia' and had a picture of something. The other had a picture of a Horse and said in large plain letters: THIS IS HORSE COUNTRY! Also there was a wood carving on the wall which upon closer examination turned out to be of deer. There was cable, and air conditioning. Upon entry, I was hit by the smell of rotten newspapers. I got rid of this by opening the windows to air out the room. Still, I thought it was a bad idea to leave the windows open when I wasn't there. It rained a lot while I was there. Hail was falling out of the sky. One time it got to raining so hard while I was driving that I had to slow down to 40 mph and put on my blinkers as I passed those who decided to pull over to the side of the road and wait it out.

3 - 18 - 1

How lopsided! This side is only as long as the other. So I better put something here. I am going to become much busier over the next few weeks as the SEPTA strike commences. I'm putting this on the main page. I'm flightly. I am easily distracted. I don't need as much sleep. Yes it's springtime! I feel like I'm im love even though my heart is so wrecked I cannot love. It's the best of both worlds! I get the brain chemical high without having to put up with anyone out of the deal. Amazing! Marvelous! Even BETTER THAN LAST YEAR which was the first time this happened. Maybe this year I'll ride a bike across the U.S. Maybe I'll think I can fly and leap off a tall building...stone sober! Someone I know told me of a friend of hers who was in Vietnam in combat and he used to eat a lot of LSD. He said that when he killed people while he was tripping it looked like they were having an orgasm while they were dying, so he felt like he was doing them a favor, bringing them into such a state of exulation. What does this have to do with anything? Well DSL is LSD spelled backwards, but other than that, nothing.

brain: Probably shouldn't eat it.

I liked that meenk glowie eye thing SO MUCH I made another one for my OWN eyes.

I'm temporarily reduced to dialup so now I know how long it takes for the other image to load and I feel for you, brother. If you're on 56K (or... *gulp* ...less!?!?!) leave your mouse over the picture for a couple of minutes (hehehe not really - it takes 11 seconds -- I timed it) and you'll see what's up. And then it'll come up fast next time cause the image is stored! keeewleeeeez!

The Residents show was so good I bought their DVD even though I don't own a DVD player. Within a couple of months I will. Read all about it here. Here's a goofy picture of me with my DVD:

The Residents - I'm going to see these eyes on Valentine's Day. They're actually playing in my town on that day, at the Troc! That sniblet is going to go too.

click here - The Michelin Tire Man approves.
twilight headquarters - this is my personal site. Enjoy!

chaoscard - fuck platinum!
glossalalia - wtf is this? YES you want to know.
spizzerinctum - what the fuck is that?
dream whip - surreal road trip zine!

grenada chocolate.com - mmmmm! CHOCOLATE.....

the infamous exploding whale! - a must-see.

webcams - click here!

Here's a quick survey for all you new people:

How many eggs in a hat?

duh - I dunno man. maybe you should ask a fricken chicken.
117 - Yeah you can fit 117 in there, just keep crammin'! Probably you can fit more...it could get kind of messy but hey you only live once, or is it twice, or...well that can be the NEXT survey.
10 - How many eggs in a hat? Ten, of course!
Depends on the hat - How big of a hat are we talking here?
No, silly! It depends on the EGGS! - What could it possibly matter how big the hat is? Especially when we don't know how SMALL the EGGS are! geez...

Last survey results:

How long do you want me to keep you naked?

most common answer: no response. you just hit the button without selecting ANYTHING! heh.
2nd most common response: a tie between
a)for the rest of your life! and... b) for a couple of weeks!

Thanks to all *ahem* 4 of you for participating! You make me feel loved, kind of.